I subscribe to an online newsletter called The Daily Groove by Scott Noelle. I enjoy his daily tidbits of insightful perspective on parenting mindfully and enjoying parenting. Today’s post (a continuation of yesterday’s post on Terrible Two’s) is something I keep top of mind with my toddler through this stage of power struggling and protests.
Developmentally, toddlers and Teens have one thing in common: they’re on the verge of a quantum leap in personal autonomy. They’re on a mission to become themselves — to get in touch with their Inner Power more than ever before.
Anytime they feel imposed upon or coerced, that mission is blocked, and they instinctively protest. In nature-based, pleasure-oriented, partnership cultures, such protests are rarely triggered, so terrible two’s and teen rebellions rarely occur.
But in our anti-nature, control-oriented culture, parents are expected (if not required by law) to oppose or control children’s natural developmental impulses toward personal empowerment, which guarantees the terribles!
The shift from terrible to terrific begins with your commitment to creative partnership. Then, whenever your child exhibits “terrible” behavior, you can re-interpret it as evidence of his or her unfolding autonomy, and ask yourself this:
“How can I use my creativity to support my child’s growth in a way that works for ALL of us?”